Skip to content

How to achieve shit…..



So at the weekend I finally put the last few pieces in place on a project that has occupied the last five months of my life almost 24/7.  I wont bore you with the details, but to put it simply, this was retirement planning born of a conversation with my consultant two years ago who basically said, “You don’t want to be doing this for the rest of your life…when you’re 50 do you really want to be slugging your arse into London every day? Getting grayer and sicker and closer to death?” Well clearly there is only one answer to that and the result of which was that at the weekend we flew out to buy a new home in the south of France.  We won’t be going there straight away but there are plans afoot.

Anyway, five months ago this seemed like a pipe dream.  Today it is reality.  There are loads of people who will tell you how to get stuff done and how to be productive and achieving and whatever, for what its worth though, here is my take on the things that turned a dream into a reality.

1) Get the right people involved. Some may say that pulling in help is a weakness, I’m telling you it is a strength. You can’t know everything, you can’t do everything. Be clear up front that the right expertise and the right support is vital.

2) Fear failure. You have to fear what you want to avoid, you have to despise failure, loathe the thought of underachievement. If you don’t then you need to ask yourself whether you really want to achieve it.

3) Embrace failure. Accept that although stage 1, 2 and 3 may be a fuck up beyond your wildest fears, that does not mean that 4, 5 and 6 won’t be huge fucking successes.

4) Be the recalcitrant bastard that  you would never hope to meet. You are making this happen. No one else. This is YOUR dream, this is YOUR goal. The is NOT a fucking popularity contest….you need to be the agitator, the instigator, the right royal pain in the arse that makes people get up and do….

5) Smile. Always smile. A smile opens a thousand doors. Say please, say thank you and mean it. Mean it from the bottom of your heart as these people, these others are there helping you….they are on your side, even when it seems like they aren’t.

6) Manage the milestones. Set timescales and manage the fuckers to within an inch of their lives. If it isn’t completed on time, why the fuck not? Boss the game, they tell you two weeks, make it one week….say it with confidence, say it with bollocks…..say it with aplomb.

7) The devil is in the detail. Yeah I know….cliché city right? Yeah well the reason it is a cliche is because it is true. Detail, detail, detail. You don’t need the answers, but you need the questions more than you need a gant chart. Ask them, ask them again, get answers….force answers.

8). Put your money where your mouth is. So this one is a little rum eh? I mean…we all want something for nothing right? But that is not the way the world works. So if you really want it then cough up, either directly or indirectly. Pay the money and take your chance.

9) Communicate your arse off. Talk is cheap. That means you can do a fuck lot of it without costing the earth. Ask questions, build relationships, check on progress. But talk, talk baby. Talk, talk.

10) Remember your dream. Things can get long and messy. Time and toil means that the path will meander and that is ok. Just remember why? Remember why…have it emblazoned on your heart. Have it written across your soul. Remember what it is all about.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. Doug shaw permalink
    01/25/2011 07:22

    Wow! What an enjoyable thing to make happen. And thanks for the list. I’m a lover of lists and I may well put this in my top three all time list list. Cheers!

  2. ThinkingFox permalink
    01/25/2011 07:40

    I love you man, you always hit the nail on the head!

  3. 01/25/2011 08:02


    One of your very best posts!

    This is truly inspiring to me. And I’m extremely glad that it all came to fruition, too!

    Kind regards


  4. 01/25/2011 08:15

    Brilliant! thats it, im going to give up writing! inspired

  5. Will Cleare permalink
    01/25/2011 08:52

    Thank you!

  6. david permalink
    01/25/2011 10:06

    Genius! People always talk about the blood, sweat & tears it takes to achieve. This is what it takes, the blood, sweat & tears are just a small by-product of such hard work.

    BTW it feels like there is a groundswell in your posts recently…. this isn’t a swan song is it?

    Step 11. Leave them wanting more….

  7. Mel B permalink
    01/25/2011 11:05

    I think that I like it a little too much when you rant. Spot on as ever. And #5 is incredibly important….

  8. 01/25/2011 12:29

    Brilliant. “Be the recalcitrant bastard that you would never hope to meet”. This is the best advice and the one I find hardest. not because I am sweetness and light but because polite conditioning gets in the way. A lot.

    The very best of luck and success to you.

    p.s. Pal returning to UK last night is OK. Still stuck in Moscow, though.

  9. 01/25/2011 17:15

    Outstanding! Cheers on making it happen and for a most excellent list of how to get there. Right to the point, no ooshy-mooshy dance-around-the-mulberry-bush stuff – brilliant!

    So happy for you and for us who get to read what you share.


  10. 01/27/2011 08:32

    @Doug Shae – Thanks Doug. I have a list thing too…as I know does Corporate Daycare…maybe it is an HR/blogger affliction!

    @ThinkingFox – I’m not against a bit of man love….as long as it remains metaphorical…..

    @Michael Carty – Thank you very much Michael, very kind.

    @BillBoorman – Thanks Bill, although somehow I think the chances of you giving up are slim! 🙂

    @Will Cleare – No….thank you!

    @david – My lips are sealed….

    @Mel B – Thanks for commenting! 5 is the most important….

    @Anne Marie McEwan – I think we all find that one hard….particularly the British. Glad to hear your friend is safe and well.

    @Richard Sherman – A reference to a womens prison I believe…..the mulberry bush that is….

  11. Chad S. permalink
    02/02/2011 17:04

    Just some first grader comments. The author drops the F bomb like it is his job but uses the word arse instead of well you know what!

    Now onto the meat and gravy part of the article. Everything mentioned is correct and wonderful and we have read it all before. If you think you haven’t, well maybe you were dreaming about that beautiful car or the boy or girl of your dreams. All that mentioned, what puts our rear ends in gear is when we are either inspired or completely desperate to achieve something in our lives. If the temperature is a bit cold or a bit hot in the room we are in, most of us won’t get up to change the thermostat. The temp has to be very cold or very hot before we do something. It is all fine when we read this happy horse stuff but we have to create a mind set of extraordinary joy or pain to change where we are in life. In relationships, work or just plain life, words are simple paint brushes but actions create the picture in which we can touch, hold and dream what should be versus what is!
    So dream, create the mobility in your mind and for God’s sake get off you butt and think bigger than you can ever be because believe me YOU ARE.

    Love and peace to all.


  1. Tweets that mention How to achieve shit….. « My Hell is Other People --

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: