One bollock at a time – Part 2
There are a million reasons to find the “HR Gurus” out there and shove a stone carved Ulrich model up their arses. At the top of the list has to be the idea of “Strategic HR Management”. I am sick and tired of hearing the word strategy combined with HR. I am sick and tired of receiving CVs which start, “….is a strategic HR generalist….”
What the fuck does it mean? Can you strategically dismiss someone? Can you strategically pay someone? It is all a load of old bollocks. If you mean, “think ahead” well then I should bloody well hope so. If you mean, “understand how things fit with the business” then you should be sacked if you don’t. They are just natural business skills that we should all have anyway.
There is of course the need to think about people implications in the context of the overall business strategy. But that is part of the business strategy. HR’s role is to make sure that the people implications are considered in the way that Marketing makes sure that the customer implications are considered and finance make sure that the financial implications are considered. It is integral. It doesn’t sit separately within the HR department.
Instead, when we bang on about “strategic HR” what we are really saying is “take us seriously please, we can add value, we are helpful. Can we have a seat at the big table….pretty please with a cherry on top?” Frankly, anyone who goes around banging on about “strategic HR” doesn’t deserve a seat anywhere other than in some expensive conference or seminar full of other similarly stupid people being talked to by some “guru” who is laughing all the way to the bank at their expense.
This is the second bollock.