Squishy balls
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What is it with suppliers and giving you crap that you never want or need? The news is that today we are officially out of recession and I was kind of hoping that an up-side to the recent economic troubles might have been a world-wide cut back on the”corporate gifts” that suppliers give to companies. But no. It appears my hopes and dreams are dashed. Like a floater, some things refuse to be flushed away and hang on in there as a constant reminder of the shit that exists in your life.
The article in question is a stress ball delivered by a recruitment agency. Now I am not normally one to turn down the opportunity of having objects around that can be thrown, but really……. !?! Do they honestly think that because of some cheap brightly coloured squishy sphere they are going to get our business? Has anyone ever signed a deal based on a free pen or pad of paper? Have you selected a provider because of a set of branded “post-it” notes?
No. If you want to bribe me then do it with something I can’t get from the pound shop please? Champagne, the theatre, weekends away, dancing girls. Come on now think imaginatively! The Global Financial Crisis is over…..bring on the bungs!
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
TheHRD would like to point out that at no time has he been the recipient of any payments or gifts in relation to his business operations. They were all made directly to his wife and had no bearing on his decision-making whatsoever.
My Hell is Other People 
A supplier I use sends chocolate bars…
…they had me at 70% cocoa.
(Although I haven’t chosen a supplier based on their swag – I have avoided some because of their excessive promotional wooing.)
I wish my balls were stlll squishy, dancing girls may be even more attractive.
All right HRD – could you be had for a Cornish pasty, then?
@mkeeffer – I’m anyones for a decent cornish pasty and a pint!
@Corporate Daycare – I hate cheap tat…..people who send it get off my likey list!
@Sean – I don’t know where to start in response to that……!
When I was in sales, I believed in the power of chocolate-covered strawberries.
And straight chocolate, of course. My prospects and my customers got good chocolate. And donuts. I would deliver donuts and chat with customers regularly. Take them out to lunch. They needed to know me. I wasn’t bribing them. I was building a relationship so that when something went wrong – as it would, because something always goes wrong in any account because we are all human – rather than putting the account out to bid, they would call me so I could fix things.
Here in NZ, recruiters used to insist on taking me to the rugby. Hated every fucking minute and used to love telling them how much better it was watching football in England.
@The Gold Digger – Food is always a good one, although I would rather cheese than strawberries…….or a cornish pasty!
@NZHRGuy – The only time I was ever taken to the rugby I hated it! Although sitting in the Directors’ box at Chelsea was brilliant. I’m with you on this one.
HRD, the key is to find out what the customer really wants. If I had been your sales rep, I would have figured out that you wanted cheese and would have had a big ol’ tray of Carr Valley Menage or Ba Ba Blue ready for you the next time.
As far as sport events, unless someone is taking me there on company time, what is the attraction? The VP of my department was upset that nobody wanted to go to a baseball game once on the company and we were all like, “We work from 7:00 a.m. to 10 p.m. at this sweatshop and we’re supposed to be excited that you expect us to spend time with you on the weekend now?”
I feel the same way about any company social event. Do it on company time or don’t do it at all. If it’s after hours, it’s on my time but guess what? It’s still work! But now it’s on MY TIME! And now you’re ticking me off.
@The Gold Digger – You are right and this is the same as workplace recognition. Know the person, know what they like. Similar to sport I guess too. I’d happily spend a Saturday being wined and dined at a football match, but that’s because I’d do that anyway given a chance, but this time it’s free!