Stop bugging me
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**ring ring, ring ring**
CEO: ………………..HRD?
HRD: ‘sup?
CEO: This is a f***ing disaster…..there are horrible things…..EVERYWHERE!
HRD:…………….we call them colleagues……….or even employees……for you, maybe even….staff
CEO: Horrible black things!
HRD:……………………………………………
CEO: HRD?
HRD: Umm……we’ve had this conversation before……..do I need to get out the naughty chair? Diversity is the new……ummm……..brown is the new……f**k………….. just….you can’t say that……….
CEO: Noooooo you f***ing imbecile! Bugs……what are they doing here?
HRD: ……ummm…..they felt too secure so came here for a bit of abuse? The moonwalk? I know……they’re spies….
CEO: Spies?
HRD:…….I’m…….joking…..so why are you telling me?
CEO: Well you are HR for f***s sake!
HRD:……………………………………………………………….
CEO:………………………………………………………………..
HRD:……………………………………………………………….
CEO:………………………………………………………………..HRD?
HRD: *sigh* yes?
CEO: Just f***ing deal with it!
*clunk*
My Hell is Other People 
love it :o)
Oh this brings back memories! After handling numerous complaints about air conditioning, broken kettles etc I would always ask does it have a heartbeat or a plug? Heartbeat’s only for HR. I guess bugs have heartbeats though! Doh!
Try scheduling the bugs’ performance reviews – that should make them leave. Also sounds like the CEO is due for a 360 degree review!
I think this situation is in the 9th circle of Purgatory in Dante’s Inferno…