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The moment when self worth explodes

06/29/2009

I was jumped on when least prepared and at my most vulnerable.

”What do you do in HR?” she asked.

I readied my defences against the, “provide tissues, bake cakes and go home early” attack (the last bit being of course true, but then who’s going to discipline me?)

But there was unnerving sincerity. “I mean I know you guys are scary” she said, “but what do you do?”

Now I’m not scary, nor am I evil. In fact I’m the sort of guy you could take home to meet your mum and I wouldn’t kick the dog, worry the cat or pull the heads off your baby sister’s dolls. Indeed I am perfectly housetrained and an all round good chap….honest…..I’ve even been told I can be charming with a good following wind and a running start.

But what do I do………………………….?

Frantically, I reached for the Blueberry, scrolling through the week’s events, emails and meetings.

“You see I………I do…..things like……things like….well there’s some stuff here that I did…..and some stuff I’m going to do. Then there are the other things……..things that need doing ………when I’ve worked out how I’m going to do them……….for when the other stuff is done……simple……..really”

Crap….what do I do?

And double crap…….how come it takes up so much time and energy?

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Lena permalink
    07/01/2009 02:47

    LOL!!! I think I want your job!!!

  2. class-factotum permalink
    07/07/2009 21:17

    Optimize staffing by helping managers figure out how to use peoples' strengths. Figure out training needs. Recruit. Orient new employees. Find out why old ones quit.

    Keep the company from getting sued for wrongful termination, sexual harassment, discrimination and other stupid things. Integrate new employees when there is an acquisition, which includes making sure that they are trained on your processes, that they get their passwords, that their customer service reps know how to apply for credit for new customers, etc.

    Make sure that your company's systems and processes make sense, because there is nobody else company wide looking at these things. Nobody.

  3. HRD permalink
    07/08/2009 08:36

    @lena – Believe me….you don't

    @class-factorum – And not forgetting doing all this and more whilst surrounded by incompetence and egos!

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