Last week I made a foolish mistake. No not the one about weeing in the laundry basket and putting my socks in the toilet and no, not the one about using my real name in front of people whilst being the ninja of the night. I made the mistake of commenting on a thread of the LinkedIn group CIPD Members, run by the wonderfully incredible Mr. Mike Morrison.
So the story is that Jackie Orme, the CEO of the CIPD has been paid some money and some bonus and stuff and we’re all really jealous that we earn shit next to her and after all we’re so important and she is…..well she is just the CEO of a business and THAT IS JUST NOT FAIR. So what we are going to do is whinge on about it like a bunch of bitches until someone comes with a big bucket of water to put us out of our misery.
The thing is this, whether you like it or not, there is a constitution and remuneration committee and that objectives are agreed and bonus targets are set and blah blah blah…..guess what…she achieved them she got paid. Well howdy doody would you ever believe it? I mean what radical thinking will befall us next? But along the sidelines are a bunch of grubby, generally speaking, ineffective self-employed consultants shrieking,”That’s unfair!”.
No it isn’t, it is completely fair and reasonable. You just are jealous and stupid and confusing equity for parity.
But my biggest issue is that the most vociferous debate is about something internal. We have a whole world of shit going on around our ears. We have change that makes seismic look incremental. We have economic movement and changes to currency and foreign exchange markets that could seriously rock the core of the industrial basis of the world. But what are we talking about? The fact that someone got some money that we would like to have had.
And this my friends is the fault with our profession. This is the macro version of an existence that plays out in nearly every HR department throughout the country if not the world. Whilst big shit is happening outside, we’re too busy worrying about whether we are HR or Personnel, or whatever other shit that we can be, whether the appraisal system is right or whether we need to redesign the core competencies to allow for the ins and outs of a duck’s asshole to be wholly and justly considered.
This people, is institutional fuck wittery and stupidity. And for one, I won’t partake, because you know what? My CEO doesn’t give a shit about Jackie Orme’s remuneration. So I’ll spend my time making a better future for my business and my employees, because that will reflect on my salary and bonus which means I can put a roof over my kids heads and dinner in their bellies and plan for a retirement that is going to be hard to achieve.
And that, THAT, my friends, is what most people are out there doing. That is the reality for the vast majority of workers. And that is what really matters to them…..and that is what matters to me……