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Hell’s Demons – The Labrador Pup

02/09/2010

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After The Sniper, the Labrador Pup seems completely innocuous, but nonetheless tedious.  Normally a relatively young person and committed to furthering their career.  They aim to achieve this by constantly rolling on their back and asking for their belly to be tickled.  The CEO throws a ball and they run off and fetch.  The CEO  kicks them….they come bounding back for more.

The Labrador Pup is not dangerous per se, but just fucking annoying.  They tend to get the best treats, the best toys and all the cuddles.  This in turn brings out the worst in everyone else whose behaviour takes a turn to the more Machiavellian.  The great thing about Labrador Pups is if they think that there is some kudos, some tummy tickling to be had, then they bounce off with endless energy and enthusiasm.  You know the phrase “kicking it into the long grass”?  That was made for the Labrador Pup.  As in, “there is this really important project, the CEO has been asking me to get on it now for months, but I just can’t get my head around it.  We need to be able to quantify the value of each square millimetre of office space and correlate that to the sales per customer, adjusted for currency differentials and the number of public holidays in each time zone…..I don’t suppose you can help……?”

The problem with Labrador Pups is that they grow up.  And lets face it, grown up Labs just aren’t as cute.  The one saving grace that a Labrador Pup has is that they see this moment coming, those with the guile and the intelligence use their remaining puppiness to pull a job with a competitor where they arrive only to be an old dog.  Those that don’t……..well lets just say their is many a Pup that turned into a Sniper…..or alternatively….sack, weight, river……need I say more?

3 Comments leave one →
  1. 02/09/2010 13:53

    Oh! Oh! Oh! [raises hand] Are you going to do “The Person Who Pretends to be Your Friend and then Stabs You in the Back?”

  2. Corporate Daycare permalink
    02/09/2010 14:04

    Bang on with this analogy…particularly since I’m really not a “dog-person”. The only thing missing is that puppies are gernally part of a litter, which can mean annoyance factor times 4.

  3. 02/11/2010 09:17

    @The Gold Digger – You can share, you are amongst friends here. Alternatively we could club together and take out a contract on them?

    @Corporate Daycare – They can get more annoying? God help us all…..

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