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Topping, the talent agenda

03/22/2010

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When I was a young whipper snapper of an HR ninja, whenever people asked me whether I had a “killer question” or a way of selecting the great candidates, I used to reply that I asked them if they were a biscuit what biscuit they would be.  Of course it wasn’t true because that would be a stupid question to ask.  That said, I managed to convince a number of people and I did once throw it into an interview to mix it up a little when I was starting to get bored (having the attention span of a goldfish is not conducive to interviewing).

Now, I’m older and wiser, and slightly less well equipped in the hair department, I realise how foolish this was and how naive you are when younger.  The real measure of talent, I know now is not an accompaniment to a “nice cup of tea”, to suggest such is far too facile.  The measure of talent is, of course, a persons favourite pizza topping.  Think about it, the multitude of combination, the array of ingredients, the amount of individual choice.  Common sense really, no?

I’m thinking that anyone who ever adds pineapple to a pizza is probably going to spend most of their time at work cluttering up space without adding any real benefit.  Those with a penchant for anchovies are clearly from psychopathic genes and should be avoided at all costs.  The fan of the mighty meaty, well it says it all……the proportion of grey matter to body matter will not be sufficient to move from the office chair that they got stuck in 1978.  Vegetarian pizzas, Christ I don’t want sanctimonious assholes around me at work, eat some dead animal and grow up.   Mushrooms are the devils work and are just wrong.  No discussion!  As for the person that always looks for the hottest, spiciest, deadliest pizza…..I respect you, you push yourself, you look for more, you take risks.  But by God, you are not getting your hands on my accounts.

PIzza – it’s the new competency framework.  What do you like and what does it say about you?

PS – Do you like what I did with the title? 🙂

4 Comments leave one →
  1. 03/22/2010 13:32

    What about those freaky souls that pine for things like goat cheese or red onions? They’re probably the type to introduce newfangled “employee engagement” methods. 😉

    Me? I like almost all toppings (except anchovy) mixed with a healthy proportion of meat and spice. This must mean that I’m just crazy enough for the corporate world. So bring it! I’ve got ammunition & the other crazies don’t scare me. 🙂

    Now I’m hungry.

  2. Corporate Daycare permalink
    03/22/2010 19:37

    Love, love, love the analogy. Thinking this may work it’s way into an upcoming interview…

    As a oil & vinegar, chicken, mushroom, carmelized onions, and brie kind of pizza-gal, I can only imagine where I would fall in your pizza-analysis grid.

    And @Geekette, I take exception to the idea that this makes me a freaky-engagement-loving soul. I may be HR, but that doesn’t make me pro-group hug. The onions solidfy that fact.

    Now I’m thinking it’s pizza for dinner tonight.

  3. G-dog permalink
    03/23/2010 00:19

    Interesting question –
    I recently asked some applicants the check-out question “paper or plastic” and WHY. Really flabbergasted one (note – I am NOT in HR, hence this icebreaker question).

    The classics:
    Extra cheese – canadian bacon – some vegetable (green pepper, black olive, mushroom or mix).
    OR a Happy Joe’s special – canadian bacon & sauerkraut – sounds odd but the acid from the sauerkraut cuts the fat of the ham & cheese.
    OR Pizza Hut veggie special
    NOT barbeque chicken pizza (BBQ sauce substituted for the pizza sauce – ick too sweet)
    NOT non-mozarella, non-traditional IF you call it pizza. Call it something else & I will eat it..

  4. 03/23/2010 11:03

    @Geekette – I’m liking your style! Although slightly worried about employing you……bring on the psychometric testing….!

    @Corporate Daycare – Have I started the onion wars here???

    @G-dog – Paper or plastic…..good question! You astound me with your pizza knowledge. If its not a pizza, don’t call it a pizza….well said!

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