If HR ran Christmas…..
The elves would spend their time bitching about Santa’s remuneration package and abundant holidays.
Rudolph would be pulled over on suspicion of DUI and sent for counsellling.
Gender specific toys would be forbidden. A ball and cup would be deemed provocative, never mind finding nuts in your stockings……
Fairies would be called “small ethereal people of unspecific gender orientation”.
Santa would be sent to wellbeing classes and retrained on Elf and Safety. (ok…shit joke)
God would rest “ye merry gentle people”. And the three kings would be one king, one queen and a eunuch.
Charades would require a competency based assessment system, linked to a 360 and feeding into a chocolate reward strategy.
Snow men would not be exclusively white, nor male.
And sprouts would be compulsory,
But they still wouldn’t get a seat at the top table!