Don’t call us……
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I’m not your father nor am I your servant.
I am not here to make your life easier at the expense of my own.
I am not here when you need me, if you don’t tell me you need me.
I am not here to deal with your flakiness, there are shampoos for that.
I am not here to take responsibility for the wrong choices that you make in your life.
I am not your conscience, your moral guide or your absolution.
I am not here to absorb the blame that you want to throw at other people.
I am not here to make you feel better about yourself.
I am not fucking omnipotent.
I’m just human.
That it all.
Reciprocity….go fuck yourself.
On a train to nowhere
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I’ve come to a conclusion. A conclusion that worries me less than it probably should. Training doesn’t work. Well not in the sense that it is suggested that it does. It is a complete crock of shit and waste of time. Most training interventions are little more than a placebo. At best employees go away with a sense of having been “invested in” at worst they go away with a sense of bafflement and confusion and having been “done to” by the organisational big brother.
The reason we can never show ROI on most training is because it doesn’t have one. Let’s admit it. There may be some small shifts immediately, but look back after a period of time and you’ll see that the effects have dissipated along with the budget. OK, I accept there may be some training that has straightforward value, such as training on a new system but that is only to provide initial access…most learning actually takes place afterwards in real life…..I give you driving as a classic example.
The vast majority of training it is a complete waste of time, dreamt up by the crooked and funded by the gullible.
If we want to redeem something from the whole sorry situation then lets focus on the feel good effect. Stop trying to justify the impact of training, stop working with the myriad of providers on pointless solutions to non-existent problems. Work out the amount of budget you have per head and allow employees to spend it on the development they want. Work or non-work related.
I can tell you for sure it will have a much greater motivational effect, it will win true engagement from the employees and is more likely to result in improved productivity than anything the feckless training consultants can dream up. Then harness the skills that you have within the business to develop younger staff through mentoring. Develop coaching capability and engage in organic learning. Go back to the way that things used to be before we created an industry from our lack of self-confidence and fear of inadequacy.
I might be wrong…… But I’m not.
The people on the edge of the night
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It is 7.10am and I’m sat in the office writing this. I set off from home about two hours ago to get here. I was working last night until about 10pm. I’m ok with it, it doesn’t happen too often and when it does, well that goes with the territory. On the flip side I get to slope off for school plays, sports days etc. Quid pro quo right?
Most days I work about 12 hours (although if you take the occasional tweet and blog post some would argue it works out about 3!) I’m not required to, I just want to do a good job. When things are busy then of course you need to put the extra effort in. It goes without saying and I am privileged to have the job that I do with the company that I do. I am also lucky that people aren’t judging me by the hours that I put in.
Compare and contrast with Tony Hayward. Remember him? The evil guy….the one that you booed and hissed at when ever he came on the TV. The pantomime villan of the BP oil disaster. Well you know what, I have a lot of sympathy for the guy and I don’t care who hears it. Sure the situation in the Gulf of Mexico was bad, but it wasn’t his fault. He was only human. The two things that really stuck out for me were the comment, “I want my life back” and the images of him sailing a yacht whilst the leak was still ongoing.
Because he is not allowed a private life is he? Because I mean, he is evil right and therefore beyond human needs. I won’t go back and dissect the whole oil spill saga. I wrote about it at the time and the fact that it was driven by human greed and consumerism as well as by BP. Suffice to say that the enquiry into the spill has said that there is absolutely no evidence that health and safety was traded off for cost savings.
But I will say this. Wanting your life back when it is being all consumed by work is not a wrong emotion. As fellow human beings we should have been sympathising with him as well as everyone else affected. Stress and pressure can hit you regardless of the role that you play in the organisation as Glyn Lumley wrote about this week. And as for the yacht….well he was seeing his son (who was racing) and whom he hadn’t seen for three months. And by US time it was from midnight to 6am. Terrible eh?
So next time you see someone under pressure and working long and ridiculous hours – even if they are senior, even if they are your boss – have a little sympathy, extend a little empathy and don’t be quick to blame them for something that has or hasn’t happened.
Everyone has the right to a private life, everyone has the right to work life balance. Even the big guys at the top.
May the force be with you
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Saturday night was pretty much run of the mill. The boy was out at some party or other (the kids have social lives way in excess of anything I have) I was cooking and the girl was curled up in front of the open fire watching some sugary sweet American rubbish on one of the gazillion kids channels we somehow seemed to have signed up for in perpetuity. The only difference was that the following day was my wife’s birthday.
I asked how the boy was getting home and she said that she was picking him up at 8pm, the kind of time that really sucks. Do you eat before or after? And of course, that means no glass of wine until after (which sucks normally, but trebley so when it is the eve of your birthday). She was pretty pissed off about it all and I (for reasons I won’t go into here) couldn’t go in her place. This was the second time in a row that she had copped the “pick up” shift on a Saturday night with our normal lift share friends, albeit through no fault of theirs.
The party was at a house of a parent that we don’t know really well, they live in a different village and don’t move in the same social circles. “Do you really not want to pick him up?” I asked. (Ok dumb question….but I’m trying to take you along with me ok?) And of course she said that she didn’t but what other choice was there etc etc. “Send Emma a text and ask her which house it is, say that you have the address but don’t know where it is” I replied. Emma is another friend of ours whose son was also at the party. “Why?” she asked, “Just do it” I said, vaguely reminiscent of a sportswear commercial.
Within minutes a reply came back, “Are you picking up? Do you want me to pick up the boy and drop him back?” Of course, my wife graciously accepted and set about uncorking a bottle of champagne in celebration (of her birthday not the text……our social lives aren’t THAT bad!)
What interested me about the whole thing was that she felt bad. She felt that she had somehow been duplicitous and underhand. For me, I guess things like this are second nature. There were no lies involved as we didn’t know where the house was, all we did was ask a question that led to a response. The other person had completely free will in the circumstances. I suppose what I didn’t realise was how ingrained that skill was in me.
As an HR pro you have to sense situations, to assess human behaviour and learn how to address it to achieve the outcomes that you believe are right. Is it influencing or is it manipulation? Does it really matter? Of course you could use this for less than honourable purposes but then karma will almost certainly come and forcibly take you from behind.
What was the outcome? Well, Emma didn’t do anything other than she was intending on anyway, she went and picked her child up from the party and brought him home, she just had another occupant in the car. Mrs HRD got to have her wonderfully cooked dinner (by moi) and sup a couple of glasses of champagne for her birthday. And me…..well I got a moment of temporary adulation as she realised what I’d done…..followed swiftly by a whole load of suspicion and wariness about what else I might be up to…..
Oh well, I guess an HR jedi’s work is never done. 🙂
University challenge
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Yesterday’s announcement that the Government is to allow Universities to charge students up to £9000 per year in tuition fees should send a shiver down the spine of anyone who cares about raising standards within the HR profession. The implications may not be seen immediately but it seems clear to me that this is storing up a whole load of issues for forthcoming years.
First of all, ALL students will be looking to see the value that they will get from a course. The commoditisation of education changes the way in which we look at that value. They are already starting to look at the educational provision they are receiving more critically and this has seen complaints rise by more than a third in the last two years. A trend we can only expect to increase.
You don’t need to study an HR degree to work in HR (in fact I would argue you shouldn’t) but many do and what will their experience be? They won’t be educated by the top professionals in their field. That is a fact. Because the top professionals tend to be working in industry where they can attract higher salaries. The average lecturer salary is between £30k and £40k which is equivalent to that of an HR Officer working in London. I studied my postgraduate at a CIPD centre of excellence. In retrospect I can tell you neither the lecturing nor the majority of lecturers were excellent.
Sure some of the additional tuition fee revenues could be put towards attracting top talent into education. But do you really think it will? No, me neither.
That brings us on to the other courses that students might study. But why would they then enter HR? If you’ve paid £27,000 plus living costs for a degree in Economics, or Psychology or even Business Studies would you choose a career in HR or are you more minded towards one of the top paying graduate sectors (investment banking, legal, consulting, actuarial, IT or sales)? Well I certainly don’t think the top talent is going to be heading our way.
So where does this all leave us? First I should say I don’t think there is any need to panic. We’re starting at a low-level so in most cases things can only get better. But I do think we need to start planning now. The big big companies will still be able to offer graduate schemes that pay more than enough to attract the top talent, but for the remainder of us we need to start to think differently.
- Do we need to start offering apprenticeships? Taking people directly from education at 18 and providing them with the skills they need without the debt?
- Do we need to get together as organisations and utilise our talents to train people outside of the University system, accepting that a degree is no longer a necessary requirement?
- Do we need to con-fund University courses and offer to lecture to ensure that we maintain high standards?
- Do we need to significantly alter our salary structures to attract the new breed of heavily indebted, heavily picky students?
Or
- Do we bury our head in the sand, talk a good talk and hope for the best?
Inlfuence effluent
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It seems a day doesn’t go past at the moment without seeing an announcement listing the “influencers” in a certain category. We have digital influencers, recruiting influencers, talent management influencers and good old HR influencers. There are the offline influencers such as outlined by HR Magazine and a host of online influencers such as outlined by HR Examiner.
And whilst I’m sure the motives are genuine, the problem is my gut instinct tells me they are at worst a crock of shit and at best a list of people. I’m stepping away from my online presence here and talking purely as an HR Director…..have any of these people ever influenced me? No. Not one. And I know and interact with a lot of people both in the online and off-line worlds.
Essentially what you have are an old boys club and a new boys club.
The methodology doesn’t talk about influence at all. To influence is,
to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves or thinks
Where is the evidence that anyone has done that?
What you essentially get through all of these things are a list of known people. Whether it is through the selection of people by HR Directors or through the number of linked in connections and Facebook friends. That is all.
So the question is? Why am I saying this? It’s because I’m not on any of the list anywhere right?
No. It is because what we are starting to do in the on-line world is just a complete replication of the offline world. We don’t need HR gurus telling us what to think either by Twitter or via text books.
Influence is what you do every day at work when you help a Manager to resolve a problem or to look at an issue in a different way. Influence is what you do when you speak to client and they come away with a different view of recruiters. Influence is what you do when you meet with the Unions and everyone comes away happy. That is true influence.
Influence is a whole load of small things and discussions coming together to make a change. Influence is not a person or a big idea. Most of the moments in my life that I have found the most influential have been reactions against crap like this.
I think this might be one.
The B word
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I’m going to come straight to the point. Paying bonuses is not evil.
Rewarding people for exceptional performance, sharing in the success of a company: these things are not bad. Yet for some reason we’ve allowed a whinging liberal, Guardian reading, granola sniffing elite to portray bonuses as corporate greed. And that is a steaming heap of festering bollocks.
The issue isn’t with bonus schemes, the issue is with feckless HR and Compensation professionals who won’t stand up to CEOs and FDs and allow the construct of crap schemes. The issue is with bonus schemes that pay out when there is corporate failure. The issue is with schemes that feel unfair.
Think about it. When John Lewis announces that all its staff will be receiving a bonus, the same liberal elite cheer and commend them for being good to their staff. But it is a bonus…so what is the difference? That they are all receiving a payment? But rather than focus on the £100,000 plus bonus that the MD of the company Andy Street was paid on top of his £500k plus salary, they focus on the staff as a good news story.
Funnily enough though, no-one focussed on the bonuses being paid to the banking staff in the local branches and call centres did they……?
In all of the companies that I have worked for that operated a bonus scheme, everybody participated and everyone was rewarded. We have and we continue to work hard to make sure that the schemes are fit for purpose, that they reward everyone and that they only pay out when we have been successful as a corporation. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’m not ashamed to operate a scheme and I’m not ashamed if and when I benefit from that scheme.
There is nothing wrong with making a profit. And there is nothing wrong with sharing a profit with the employees. Next time you hear someone criticizing bonus, ask them if they have ever had one. If not….you might want to question what other motives lie beneath.
Let’s put an end to this pathetic group think once and for all.
A mountain to climb
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HR people are renowned for saying “no” right?
Manager 1: “Obviously I wanted to give you a pay rise of 40% but HR said no.”
Manager 2: “Look it isn’t my fault they won’t give you the title of ‘Emperor of all you Survey’, HR said no.”
Manager 3: “I know…I think you taking the entire summer off to open a water cress farm in Oman is a good idea too….but HR said no.”
But like the TSB, before they merged with Lloyds and went on to right royally fuck us all, I like to say yes. And sometimes this means that I end up doing too much, over committing. Between work and my private life I’m ridiculously busy. But when the possibility of doing something else, something exciting came along I jumped right in. So when fellow tweeter, nouveau blogger, #socreccamp participant and west country recruiter Sarah Knight told me she wass climbing Kilimanjaro in February to raise money for Sparks and suggested to me that there may be additional places……I was there.
Unfortunately I achieved a big fat #fail for a number of reasons and now won’t be able to participate….in the end it was a commitment too far.
However, never one to give up I am going to try to participate vicariously. To make up for my epic commitment fail.
If you’ve read the blog for any period of time, you’ll know that I don’t have any advertising. At all. I pay to keep Google ads off the site after wordpress.com started adding them. There is nothing at all. I’m also aware that there are a number of readers of this blog that are from companies both large and small. So here is the deal….if you look at the top right of the website *pauses* see it? There is now a big gap. If you want to put your company, your logo, or even a picture of yourself there then I’m going to let you. In return for your sponsorship of Sarah.
I have absolutely no idea how this will work, if there will be any interest at all, how much is fair to ask for how long. I’m just hoping that people won’t take the piss and will want to support a good cause in return for a little profile on here. What do you get? Other than a warm sense of achievement and a glow of self-righteousness? Well, I’m not huge but (according to my wordpress stats) we knock along at between 250 and 650 visitors a day depending on the day of the week and the topic and the traffic is going up on a monthly basis. The site is often referenced on mainstream UK websites and ranks pretty well when considered alongside blogs of a similar nature.
But let’s be honest, it ain’t going to make you rich, but you’ll be helping a good cause, helping a fellow blogger and professional and no publicity is bad publicity right? So if you’re interested, let me know here. You can sponsor Sarah here. And we’ll see where we go from there.
Deal?
Listen to the music
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Want to know one of the signs that an industry or business is going to fail?
They don’t think they can.
It has been true over the ages and it is true to this very day. Organisational arrogance is the very first step towards organisational decline. This was why I was slightly disturbed about an exchange last week regarding the future of the recruitment industry. The response to a purposefully provocative question about the death of the recruitment industry was essentially,
“A £25bn/yr industry blown away by social media?? never.”
When I responded that the music industry said the same, there was low-level derision that, the music industry isn’t dead.
Well dead, no maybe not….but significantly altered to beyond recognition it is. And the music industry big wigs stood before pronunciations of doom in the late 90’s and scoffed in exactly the same way.
There are a whole host of reasons that the music industry came under pressure and these are well documented, but you know, the biggest reason for their demise was because they did nothing about it. Because they didn’t think they had to. Because they were institutionally arrogant. They watched the world changing and they reacted too little and too late because they never thought it could happen to them. And then BOOM!
Do I think the same is going to happen to the recruitment industry? Actually yes, I do. Because everything I see, everything I hear points towards group think and institutional arrogance. The drivers of change might not be the same, the end result might not be identical. But the industry that has grown fat and arrogant on easy pickings is showing every sign of being slow to react and dismissive of any suggestion of change.
It won’t be the end of course, that would just be wishful thinking, but the future will be so radically different that you might not even recognise it.
My Hell is Other People 