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Affairs of the HeaRt



I was having a conversation about infidelity and adultery yesterday (as one does in one’s position don”t you know) and the conversation eventually progressed onto workplace affairs. The lady in question asked me what my take on this  was and my instinctive reaction was BAD.  As in not good…… in wrong.  I should point out at this stage that she doesn’t work with me… I don’t think it was a come-on…..although I have been known to be wrong and she is pretty hot…..

Anyway……. I’ve been blogging for a while now and I’ve seen this subject discussed any number of times.  For those of you that have been hanging around here for a while I also talked about it with my “naughty boy”.  But then I got to thinking, what if I’ve got this wrong?  What if this is typical “HR behaviour”?  What if the reasons that we are against this are,

a) We are uptight

b) We aren’t getting any

c) They haven’t completed the appropriate forms in duplicate and got them countersigned by their line manager

I mean, ok you can make an argument against infidelity per se.  Sure there is a moral argument to be had there.  But why is it ok to shag the vicar but not your co-worker?  What if we have this completely the wrong way around?  I’m thinking there are loads of benefits to encouraging a bit of the old horizontal monkey dance…….a little bone smugglin’ in the workplace?

There are of course improved  opportunities for networking, the chance for cross departmental cooperation, there is a clear link with reduction in stress and an undeniable correlation with employee engagement. Not to mention continual personal development and the use of social media to share the……..”outputs”!

Plus….we in HR get to become the “Sex Police“, we get to create competency models, assess performance and design development programmes…..

I’m not asking you to talk about your own personal circumstances….that would be wrong.  But what do you think?  It’s got legs, right?

13 Comments leave one →
  1. Corporate Daycare permalink
    04/08/2010 12:10

    Sex Police? Think of the confidentiality agreements and paperwork that would be involved in regulating office affairs…just not worth the effort.

    However, can you imagine the employee referral program that could be associated with this?!

    Keep stirring it up HRD. Keep stirring.

  2. 04/08/2010 13:32

    And think of how easy promotions would become. Bosses would just promote the shagees. Easy! No actual evaluation of accomplishments or competency.

  3. ivor Kinghorn permalink
    04/08/2010 14:16

    Personal experience (semi serious note)… As a male board member was once offered sex by a female subordinate in return for a promotion. Having thought about it I declined only to receive a sex discrimination claim backed by accusations that I’d made the offer in reverse. It was never fully cleared up and I walked due to the hell it caused. My learning from this? Should simply have shagged the bitch and got on with the job.

  4. Karen (Sayya26) permalink
    04/08/2010 14:52

    um….yeah…no- absolutely not. what would be the fall out if the relationship ended badly and the 2 still had to work together? why do some find it necessary to try to fornicate their way to the top rather than just earn it – oh i dunno- through hard work?

    why do we have to sexualize EVERYTHING?

  5. ivor Kinghorn permalink
    04/08/2010 16:10

    Karen, you are far too sensible. Quite right in your recommendation but perhaps ignoring a controversial point. Whilst legislation backs certain claims there will always be those who will take advantage. In my experience females had a rough deal for a long time, now the pendulum has swung the opposite way. Until we find a workable solution my experience perhaps informs the original query?

  6. Corporate Daycare permalink
    04/08/2010 16:28

    @ivor Kinghorn –

    “My learning from this? Should simply have shagged the bitch and got on with the job.”

    I just spat my lunch out reading that. I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but I just couldn’t help it.

    Sex in the office (figuratively speaking) will happen regardless of whether HR legitimizes and polices it. I don’t see that creating a cost-benefit matrix on whether your employees are doing “the old horizontal monkey dance” with each other is going to reduce the occurance of people (men or women) who will take advantage of a situation. I would argue that type of behaviour says more about their character than about the sexual harassment legislation and the P&P behind it.

    Thanks for sharing the experience.

  7. Karen (Sayya26) permalink
    04/08/2010 17:34

    Look, if coworkers or boss and subordinate want to have sex on their own time and it’s a personal thing that has nothing to do with professional perks then great- 2 consenting adults- whatever. BUT it should in no way be used as a bargaining chip for a promotion etc.

    I’m young and perhaps naive and idealistic and still have no clue as to how the ‘real world’ works- but I’m sick and tired of sex and sexuality niggling its way into EVERYTHING. Good grief people- it’s like the more civilized we get the more primitive we behave!

  8. G-dog permalink
    04/09/2010 00:51

    well – it gives “performance review” or “360 review” a whole other context…
    It may be able to fake an orgasm than pretend your boss/co-worker is competent, fair, or a good manager or leader…

  9. 04/09/2010 13:55

    The problem is not working with someone you date. It’s working with someone you used to date. Don’t get your honey where you get your money.

  10. G-dog permalink
    04/10/2010 01:30

    Ah – correcting typo:
    it may be Easier [able] to fake an orgasm than pretend your boss/co-worker is competent, fair, or a good manager or leader…

  11. 04/13/2010 08:47

    @All – Sorry its taken me so long to get back and comment on this one!

    @Corporate Daycare – I’m loving the employee referral idea….!

    @The gold digger – You follow my thinking!

    @Ivor – No I’m not going to say the whole name….you nearly got trashed because of the fake email, but regardless I think you have a relevant point. And similar to Corporate Daycare, it made me laugh, but then I felt naughty!

    @Karen – I don’t think you are naive at all, I have a lot of respect for you perspective and I do think we sexualise society far too much. This can only be bad for the kids.

    @G-dog – Kind of like marriage then huh?

  12. 04/15/2010 08:18

    I received an email this morning containing a diagram titled “Touching – what is appropriate at work”. I immediately thought of you 😉

  13. 04/15/2010 08:40

    @Jon – That is genius, thank you for sharing it. Although slightly worrying……what does a punch count as? Trying to get attention? Or hello/goodbye?

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