Please allow me to introduce myself
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One of the great things about being an anonymous blogger is……well, the anonymity. The ability to say what I want and when I want to, without it being attributed to the real me or my organisation.
On the flip side, one of the worst things about being an anonymous blogger is……well, the anonymity.
This conundrum is brought to front of mind on weeks like this one, when the real and the online me seemed to be weaving in and out of one another. As well as three business engagements this week as the real me, I also have another two as the online me. The trick is to make sure I remember which one I am at the right event!
You might remember that back in March I went to ConnectingHR (the illegitimate love child of Gareth Jones and Jon Ingham) and despite fears that I would bump into people I knew it turned out to be a great event. I met some lovely people, people who I am in regular contact with. This week sees ConnectingHR 2 (the spawn of spawn) which I’ll also be attending. I don’t know whether there are still any tickets left, but if you are an HR professional in and around London then I would certainly recommend that you make your way there. Not only will you get the chance to meet a bunch of really cool, really interesting and generally house trained people. But you also get to meet me (and someone by the name of Jean-Paul Smalls – which makes me smile every time I think about it!)
And here is the rub. When I set up this blog, I made a mistake. A big fat juicy mistake. I forgot to give myself a name. It didn’t real seem like a big issues at the time, but I now realise the folly of my ways. You see, there is nothing worse than trying to introduce yourself as a fictional character without a name. And as for signing off emails, it really does feel incredibly wanky using the moniker “TheHRD”.
There have been a couple of valiant attempts to support me in this, Jon Weedon started referring to me as HaRolD (he does clever things like that because he is an Internal Comms ninja and they are all in touch with their inner creative monkey). Callum Saunders on the other hand dubbed me Joseph (I think that has more to do with his beard and personal Carpenter like leanings than anything else…)
So I’ve decided. There is only one thing for it, I need a name. Let me know your thoughts and suggestions. When you read this who do you hear? Those who’ve met me, what do I look like? And those that know me…..use my real name and you’ll be off my Christmas card list…..have I made myself clear?
PS. The other event that I will be involved in this week is the Emergency Budget Live Blog. Note to self: leave the potty mouth at home.
My Hell is Other People 
You are Bob. Bob is the easiest name in the world to remember and everyone can remember the time they met Bob. And the best thing about Bob is, he’s whoever you need him to be. Bob is my best friend when I’m training ‘cos he gets all my abuse and it means I don’t offend anyone inadvertently. It means you can stay as anonymous as you need to be. Nice to meet you Bob!
I think of you as a Mike. If I’d been paying more attention on Twitter I would probably know how old you are – but I’m guessing a couple of years older than me. Which makes you born in 1970 (hope I’m flattering you there). The most popular boy’s name in 1970 was … Michael.
Also, I know a load of people in HR called Michael and you might be one of them.
So, on Thursday I shall be calling you Mike.
A quick bash around online suggests John Patterson is considered by some the father of modern HR. Likewise, Justin Hall gets kudos from the NYT as a pioneer in online personal blogging – though preceded on paper, I feel, by George Orwell.
How about Patterson Orwell-Hall… sufficiently dignified?
A name for the HRD? I went on a name generator site (a pirate one was the first at hand) and I got Armless Jake Cutter, so if in the future you want to style your writings with a comic touch than that could be the way to go.
On a more serious note on anonymity and the net there was a good BBC article on the issue a while ago, with the consensus being that no one is really anonymous – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8106017.stm.
Dante, Virgil or Sartre.
I love “The HRD”. Once worked with a chef who couldn’t pronounce my name, so he called me “HRD”…it was meant with respect and I took it that way.
Frank Morgan.
In itself an unpretentious name, which I like quite it for. But never having met you (to my knowledge) I have no idea whether I’m misreading your true nature and perhaps a bit more pretention in the name (see above) would suit your personality. Anyway – main reasons I put this name forward are:
1. no one could deny your posts are frank.
2. Frank Morgan played the Wizard of Oz in the Wizard of Oz – a character who hid behind a larger than life persona, pretending to be all tough and nasty, but behind the curtain was a decent guy with a compassionate nature just doing the best he could.
3. Frank also played several other roles in the film: Professor Marvel; The Gatekeeper; The Carriage Driver; The Doorman. HR is surely a multidisciplinary skillset that helps a company get from A to B, but so often in a behind the scenes kind of way.
A few suggestions, all based on famous anonymity:
• The Stig, coz I’ve always associated your own irreverent blokey style with the Top Gear boys.
• Boz, (á la Charles Dickens), in homage to your own beautifully prosaic writing style – and because you do on occasion like to talk a load of old Boz.
• Ellis Bell, (Emily Bronte published Wuthering Heights under this name). This choice adds a frisson of sexual tension to reflect the fact that most of your readers assume you are a man, but the truth is you could be a lady pretending to be a boy. Or even a lady boy.
• Nong Tum, the pseudonym of a famous Thai lady boy (see above). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nong_Tum
Bol Locks de Sartre 🙂
For slighly manic anti-establishment sentiments, I offer ‘Rik’ Mayle (in Young Ones guise) but Malcolm Tucker (of ‘The thick of it’ fame) recognises the HRD as the leading HR swearologist.
@Sukh Pabial – Strangely I always refer to people as Bob when I cannot remember their name. Also has a great Blackadder connotation!
@Louise Triance – Thanks for taking the time to comment Louise. I’ll have you know that I wasn’t even a twinkle in my parents’ eyes in 1970!
@James Mayes – That sounds like some dreadful 1970s Prog Rock outfit!
@Savvy Edmund – Welcome and thanks for the comment. I think I suit a pirate name……on a serious note, I work on the basis that I’m not interesting enough to unmask!
@The gold digger – I once knew a guy called Virgil. Sadly when he told people they tended to respond, “What like the Thunderbird?”
@Sharlyn Lauby – Bless you for making my life easier! Given some of the responses I think I’m leaning your way on this one!
@Alex Hens – Some give that man a cigar for that thinking!
@Jon – So where exactly are you going with this lady boy thing Mr. Weedon?
@Geekette – Is that like Goldilocks?
@Dominic Wake – Malcolm Mayle just sounds like a porn name…….!
Bart Luberdish
Keyser Söze?
HaRolD — as on “our father who art in heaven, Harold be thy name”
Otherwise Trevor, Clive, Nigel, or something like that. But my thanks goes out to the “Young Ones” ref! Go Rik!
@Gareth Jones – I was trying to find some reference to that, but I think you just made it up right?
@Ministry of Truth – Haha….I must watch the Usual Suspects again…..great film.
@g-dog – Clive? I am so not a Clive! I remember that joke from School….I’m sure there was a whole alternative version. Must be on the interweb somewhere…..
How about ‘Crouch Supermarket’?