At the weekend my kids like to have a croissant for breakfast, it’s something they have got used to and is now a kind of ritual. They have them with chocolate spread. It used to be Nutella, but seeing as we are such a “right on” hippy bunch, it’s now Green and Black’s. I would cut the croissant to make two half moons, put a little spread on one and then put the two together. A chocolatey croissant sandwich. What’s not to like?
One Saturday morning, a few years ago, my son asked me, “Can I have the two sides separately?” Seemingly an innocent question from a 7-year-old. Until I realised the catch. Open the two up and there was only chocolate spread on one and not the other. I gave it to him that way. “But there is no chocolate spread on this one”. True. And worse, seeing as I had always applied the minimum amount of spread (no threat of obesity in this household), there was no scraping and transferring to be done. I was snookered. (For the Americans amongst you, that means……ummm….well your balls are trapped). And they were……fully. I added more chocolate spread to the other half and returned the plate where, with a knowing smile, he promptly put the two sides back together to make…….a double chocolate croissant sandwich.
And from that point on, the amount of chocolate on the croissant had increased. There was no going back.
Now clearly I’m not writing about this because I want readers to avoid any croissanty unpleasantness on a Saturday morning. More that this came back to me last week as we entered into pay negotiations (yes I know I seem to spend my life doing this). The pot is small, the mandate is tight and in reality we have little to give. I could do the big swinging dick HRD routine and go banging on tables. But thats not really me and quite frankly I worry I might struggle in the dick department……
So the dilemma I’m facing is this. The Unions are there with the croissant open in their hands. One side has chocolate and the other doesn’t. The minimum has been applied and there is no scraping to be done. They’re asking for chocolate on both sides. But once thats done, it can never be undone. What to do, what to do…..
Time to downgrade back to Nutella maybe?