Luck is always the last refuge of laziness and incompetence
For the past few weeks I’ve been working on a project. It’s a big project, a really important project. If I pull this off it could be life changing, if I screw it up it will always sit there lurking in the shadows as a reminder of my incompetence.
And incompetence is the word. I am so far out of my comfort zone that I can barely remember what I am actually capable of doing without significant thought and effort. Because everything is an effort and nothing seems easy.
I hate feeling like this. You’ve probably figured by know that I am a control freak by nature. I see no point in fun fair rides, the adrenaline rush cannot overcome the distress of the feeling of being out of control. I get that some people like this sensation, but I don’t. All I get is a feeling of being ridiculously stressed.
Sure I have people helping me and there is the wonderful world of the interweb to provide me with more information than I can possibly digest in one sitting. But I am used to knowing more than the people helping me and I just don’t have time to do a crash course. How can I tell if what I am being told is right, if I don’t know the answer myself?
The simple truth I guess is that I just have to do my best. And I have to trust that people are doing their best and that the work they do is good. Perhaps most importantly, I need to trust my own instincts and back myself to be able to work my way through. And hope for a bit of luck…..
I’ll hopefully be able to reveal more in time but for the moment I worry that I’ll jinx it. So just keep your fingers crossed and if when I manage to pull this off I’ll let you all know what it was all about.