Hell’s Demons – The Time Traveler
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(Don’t worry we are nearly at the end…I’m a stubborn bugger, when I start something I need to finish it)
So, day four brings us to the hardest character of them all to manage…The Time Traveler. Not the Sniper, not the Brat? Nope. Based on one simple fact…..the Timetraveller is not there. Time Travelers come in many shapes and sizes and inhabit many different worlds. Some are in the past, some are in the future, some are on this planet, some are in complete fucking world of their own.
You can spot a Time Traveler by the slightly vacant faraway look in their eye. Their clothes are dishevelled as God only knows when the last time they changed was or even if they ever have, the aroma a unique blend of old bibles crossed with goat cheese and banana. They work in highly technical or specialist areas, requiring a brain the size of Peru and the conceptual thinking skills of da Vinci. But putting one foot in front of another…..that is another thing entirely.
Nothing worries a Time Traveler, because they aren’t there. Need them to do something? No problem, they press the big red internal button marked “take off” and….woosh! You can’t criticize a Time Traveler because you can’t pin them down or work out where the hell they are….and deepdown you know that the truth is, they are probably all geniuses!
My Hell is Other People 
My first job out of college was at an insurance company. This was back when people still smoked at work, the boss kept beer in the office fridge, we got a turkey at Christmas, the donut guy came around at 10 and we left the office at 4:30 sharp. And yes, I have just started watching Mad Men, and yes, a big part of those days was not so long ago.
Sigh. I miss those days. Not the smoking or the way women and minorities were treated, but leaving on time.
Anyhow. I was going through underwriter training: how to evaluate and price risk. The guy who was training us was old (probably FIFTY) and wore the same outfit two days in a row. Fred was a 60s throwback. Or maybe it was disco 70s. He would wear purple pants with a wild silky shirt and a short, wide, purple tie. Two days in a row. The next day might be red pants with a red-striped shirt and a short, wide white tie. Two days in a row. Then bright green pants, green and white polka-dot shirt, green tie. You get the picture. His hair was slicked back with something and you could smell his aftershave from a mile away.
But man, Fred knew his stuff. This was before personal computers, when we did everything with tables and ten-key calculators or whatever you call those things. It was all by hand, so you had to understand the theory of what you were doing and know where to look up the numbers. He knew it all. I wonder what they did when he retired. Probably cried.
They are difficult to manage because it is hard to understand their motivation. I certainly don’t. But I know that it is hard to find people that do what they excel at, so I’m happy they exist. I want them on that wall! I need them on that wall! Too much? I’m sorry.
@gold digger – I agree they should have cried. My question is, do you know for sure that Fred made it to a pleasant retirement with that company? The Fred’s of the world aren’t typically promotable because they lack managerial tact. Guessing, based on current corporate mindset, he stayed long enough to push through the top of his paygrade and a younger, high flying VP signed his layoff paperwork without knowing what his real contribution is as the seat of all knowledge.