Flexible what????

First of all a warning, this post in written in anger.  The views below do not represent my rational self but are instead the product of my evil twin.

I’m having a moment.  A BIG moment.  The world is conspiring to come and kick me up the arse in more ways than one and then to top it all off, to add the whipped cream and cherry to the top of the already mountainous cake I have a bunch of arseholes being……well arseholes.

If you read this, you will know that my children have croissants for breakfast at the weekend I am in the middle of pay negotiations and have been trying to find ways of landing a relatively tough deal by my organisation’s standards (nope not Honda style tough deal).  In doing this my team came up with a number of really good creative gives….because they are good and creative.  One of which was the extension of the ability to request flexible working to all employees.

Now if you are in the UK, you’re probably thinking “you don’t do that already?????” if you are in the US, you are probably thinking, “Its Thanksgiving now shut the fuck up and let me eat more turkey” actually scrap that last one you are probably not reading this at all.  And if you are….get a life.

I digress.  So we don’t offer flexible working to all.  Only to those that can request it under statute.  (Anyone who has a problem with that can see me after class.  And trust me, I’m not in a good mood).  So we proposed that we offer this to all on the basis that its non- contractual, there is no obligation to do it and EVERY OTHER F*****G BUSINESS IN THE COUNTRY DOES IT!

Well you would have thought that I’d suggested that one day a year the Board drop their trousers bend over the board table and offer themselves any side up to all and sundry.  The total shitstorm that has been created is really quite unreal.  You can fill in the blanks to the type of comments I’ve had, but the narrative is essentially, “If we tell people they can ask…..then they might”.

Yes and if we don’t tell them they can ask then they might still ask anyway.  Or guess what, they might just leave.  Heaven forbid we actually have a dialogue with them.  That, well that would just be….well wrong. 

PS – Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who eventually got to this point!