Ohhhh……the iPhones connected to the WIFI….
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Well, what can I say. Last night so the arrival and passing of Connecting HR Deux (This time it’s serious…..) In no particular order, these things happened……
- I met chief sticker boy and all round social networking ninja, Callum Saunders. “Hey Cal, who have we got here tonight?” I asked (I’d studied the guest list. I mean……I really had studied it) only to hear the reply, “Quite a lot of people that weren’t on the list….” *groan*
- I talked to Abi Signorelli about introverts and extroverts on the interweb. I’m right she, is wrong. I just need her to admit that. Abi…..admit it. Abi also took a photo of my shoes. You can see them here. It’s not because she is small……I think she was making a point.
- Talking of small…..I also met Charlie Duff. If there is anyone out there who wants a handy pocket-sized journalist (useful for when you are out and about) she is your lady. Although she left her very big bright red handbag by my feet which did lead to a little confusion amongst innocent bystanders……come to think of it, maybe it was her sleeping bag….
- Carrying on the theme of journalists, it was also great to catch up with Rob Moss again. For those of you who don’t know, Rob now is Personnel Today…… I apologised for my comments on the last post (here) which I understand were instrumental in their decision to pull the mag.
- Gary Franklin is a bear of a man. A bear wearing a tie. I’m thinking Yogi. Gary – I didn’t say anything…..but if you ever shake my hand like that again….I’m suing. These fingers…..they feed my kids……you hear me?
- When I wrote about saying sorry yesterday, I significantly altered the life of a man I have never met. Louise Triance (who I warmed to immensely and will now be my new best friend whether she likes it or not) phoned her husband-to-be and apologised for “being a bitch”……so Mr. Whateveryournameis….you owe me one….I’m sending you my wife’s mobile number……and she bites……
- Matt Alder has more hair than both Michael Carty and I. This makes him happy. This doesn’t stop him looking like a TV presenter from a regional news channel.
- The CIPD were there. I didn’t talk to them. They didn’t talk to me. It was like going to a party and seeing someone who you’ve slept with and then broken up messily. Call me? I still have feelings for you…….we can work this one out……
And of course there were numerous other people all of whom were genuinely nice. In fact I didn’t meet one person I wanted to punch. Don’t get me wrong, there were people there I wanted to punch. I just didn’t meet them.
Thanks to the pantomime villains Jon Ingham and Gareth Jones. Who excelled themselves once again….and allowed live broadcast of tweets…..which are here.
Mea Culpa
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Whilst Elton John thought it was the hardest word, I’ve never had a problem saying sorry. We’re quite big at sorry in our family, my brother and I would quite happily spend most of the day apologising to one another for something that was neither of our fault. It’s no biggie really is it? Just three words rolled into two.
But it seems not. Well clearly it is three words rolled into two…but it doesn’t seem that easy, not if my experiences are anything to go by. People really seem to struggle with the concept of apologising. And I’m really not sure why.
My organisation is not one that has a culture of accepting responsibility. Argument after argument will go on and people leave blaming one another for all sorts of things that are really of little importance. But the thing that amazes me is when you do apologise, the whole thing dissipates and no one remembers.
How do I know this? Well I do it. I walk into the CEO office and they are ranting and raving about some minutiae that I haven’t covered off. I hold my hands up say, “You’re right, I’ll get onto it” and we start talking about the big important things that I have done. No hard feelings.
On the other hand the I have seen the CEO and FD go hammer and tongs at one another (and not like that! – eww bad image) over who said what or did what when quite frankly it didn’t matter one iota. Both leaving the meeting frustrated and grumping about the other.
I’ll even apologise about things that aren’t my fault if I think it will move things on. It doesn’t worry me, I’m not scarred by it and I don’t think it makes me less of a person. If people need an apology to help them move on, then as far as I’m concerned that’s ok. If you think that makes me weak…….
I’m Sorry.
Move over Darling
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So today is the day when we learn, how much, how soon, how hard and how deep. No it’s not a swingers convention.
It is budget day. The first for the coalition and the first for Gideon Osborne.
I’m not going to say too much about it now, I need to keep my powder dry for later when along with Mervyn Dinnen and Michael Carty (and a whole host of other of intelligent people) we will be commenting live care of XpertHR and Personnel Today.
You can follow proceedings here from 12.30 BST (11.30 GMT). I will be the one trying to sound intelligent in amongst the brains.
I’m no Mystic Meg, but I predict smoke and mirrors……
PS. Did you like what I did with the title…….?
UPDATE: YOU CAN NOW READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE LIVE BLOG HERE.
Please allow me to introduce myself
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One of the great things about being an anonymous blogger is……well, the anonymity. The ability to say what I want and when I want to, without it being attributed to the real me or my organisation.
On the flip side, one of the worst things about being an anonymous blogger is……well, the anonymity.
This conundrum is brought to front of mind on weeks like this one, when the real and the online me seemed to be weaving in and out of one another. As well as three business engagements this week as the real me, I also have another two as the online me. The trick is to make sure I remember which one I am at the right event!
You might remember that back in March I went to ConnectingHR (the illegitimate love child of Gareth Jones and Jon Ingham) and despite fears that I would bump into people I knew it turned out to be a great event. I met some lovely people, people who I am in regular contact with. This week sees ConnectingHR 2 (the spawn of spawn) which I’ll also be attending. I don’t know whether there are still any tickets left, but if you are an HR professional in and around London then I would certainly recommend that you make your way there. Not only will you get the chance to meet a bunch of really cool, really interesting and generally house trained people. But you also get to meet me (and someone by the name of Jean-Paul Smalls – which makes me smile every time I think about it!)
And here is the rub. When I set up this blog, I made a mistake. A big fat juicy mistake. I forgot to give myself a name. It didn’t real seem like a big issues at the time, but I now realise the folly of my ways. You see, there is nothing worse than trying to introduce yourself as a fictional character without a name. And as for signing off emails, it really does feel incredibly wanky using the moniker “TheHRD”.
There have been a couple of valiant attempts to support me in this, Jon Weedon started referring to me as HaRolD (he does clever things like that because he is an Internal Comms ninja and they are all in touch with their inner creative monkey). Callum Saunders on the other hand dubbed me Joseph (I think that has more to do with his beard and personal Carpenter like leanings than anything else…)
So I’ve decided. There is only one thing for it, I need a name. Let me know your thoughts and suggestions. When you read this who do you hear? Those who’ve met me, what do I look like? And those that know me…..use my real name and you’ll be off my Christmas card list…..have I made myself clear?
PS. The other event that I will be involved in this week is the Emergency Budget Live Blog. Note to self: leave the potty mouth at home.
Stop bugging me
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**ring ring, ring ring**
CEO: ………………..HRD?
HRD: ‘sup?
CEO: This is a f***ing disaster…..there are horrible things…..EVERYWHERE!
HRD:…………….we call them colleagues……….or even employees……for you, maybe even….staff
CEO: Horrible black things!
HRD:……………………………………………
CEO: HRD?
HRD: Umm……we’ve had this conversation before……..do I need to get out the naughty chair? Diversity is the new……ummm……..brown is the new……f**k………….. just….you can’t say that……….
CEO: Noooooo you f***ing imbecile! Bugs……what are they doing here?
HRD: ……ummm…..they felt too secure so came here for a bit of abuse? The moonwalk? I know……they’re spies….
CEO: Spies?
HRD:…….I’m…….joking…..so why are you telling me?
CEO: Well you are HR for f***s sake!
HRD:……………………………………………………………….
CEO:………………………………………………………………..
HRD:……………………………………………………………….
CEO:………………………………………………………………..HRD?
HRD: *sigh* yes?
CEO: Just f***ing deal with it!
*clunk*
Deskilled in the search of strategic value
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I’ve made my views on the Ulrich model and on Business Partnering known before, particularly the way in which the thoughtless HR profession has adopted it with gay abandon and without proper assessment or analysis. But perhaps the scariest implication of this mindless lemming like approach has been the deskilling of the HR function to a point where I genuinely worry if it will ever be the same again.
When I kicked off my career (and this was only 15 years ago) I started life as a Personnel Officer. I had a couple of client groups and I was responsible for all of their HR requirements. If there was a vacancy I would recruit it, beginning to end, drawing up an ad, sifting CVs, interviewing, making an offer, rejecting candidates and drafting the contract. If we needed to change a structure, I would sit with the manager discuss it, help draw up the profiles, the redundancy selection criteria etc and follow it through to termination and even representing the company at Employment Tribunal.
There were more senior people above me and if I was unsure I would talk it through with them and seek guidance. When I was ready, I left to join another company where my span of control was slightly greater and the level of support slightly less. I moved up a rung. Through all of this I was building up my level of competence, learning new skills. But I was also learning to take responsibility, because if things went wrong it was both my fault and importantly ME who felt the pain.
All of this meant that when I started to manage teams about ten years ago, I knew what they were going through and I knew the pain that they were experiencing and I knew how I could help. But it also meant that I was fastidious about detail, because cock ups tend to be the result of a lack of attention to detail. You can’t rock up at an Employment Tribunal and say, “well I didn’t mean that…” or explain to a candidate why their contract has the wrong terms and conditions on it. I could explain the importance of everything that we did and how it knitted together.
Increasingly over the years, I have found it hard to recruit good HR pros into my businesses primarily because they have a lack of breadth. If you think of the Ulrich model, it doesn’t lend itself to career paths or to movement between the “legs”. Shared service teams are (generally) seen as low skilled administrative functions, specialist teams are exactly that and business partners whilst they may have good consultancy skills lack on the technical side. HR professionals are developing unevenly, the stool is wonky.
Added to this is often a lack of ownership and accountability. If a shared service centre gets something wrong, how often do they feel the pain directly? If the BP feels the pain, how often do they blame it on the shared service centre? And the specialists? In my humble opinion they tend to walk around telling everyone what to do but providing little support or assistance and never really “getting” a business. We don’t like pain, we seek to avoid it, it is in our nature.
So where does all of this take us? Will the next generation of HR Directors have bloodied themselves in operational HR matters, have gone before a Tribunal Chairman, have drafted contracts, completed admin? Will they have cocked things up and had to take complete and total ownership of the issues?
Does it really matter? I think it does.
Talking balls
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I don’t think it will come as a surprise to anyone to be told that the World Cup starts tomorrow. I’m not a hard-core football fan but along with many people I’m interested and excited about seeing one of the world’s big sporting events. I’ll be taking time to watch a few games and I’ll probably be checking up on the scores whilst I’m at work….
HOLD ON! What? I mean is that allowed?
If I do that, then what does that mean for others? Surely we need a policy on this, a working group to define “Acceptable Responsible Soccer Enjoyment”. The ARSE working group can then define an ARSE policy and associated ARSE guidelines which can then be monitored by nominated ARSE watchers.
The amount of HR bollocks that is being spouted over the World Cup is truly amazing. Legal advice, on legal advice, on legal advice. Article after article. “HR World Cup Headache” seems to be the headline of the day. Even my friends at XpertHR are at it…..as David Shepherd rightly introduces the video by highlighting that law firms use this for free publicity but then goes on to discuss some of the same guff that they have been espousing.
I even read that their could be discrimination claims involved, because allowing people time to watch England’s games and not those of other countries could be seen to be discriminatory. Really? No. The country that we live in is England. We are allowing everyone to watch England. There is no discrimination there. Sure if you are not allowing non-English people the chance to watch the England game there may be discrimination but is anyone really recommending that? As for sex discrimination (mentioned as well) just don’t get me started. Women watch football (especially the World Cup) as much as men.
And then all the advice about managing attendance and, drinking and internet usage and blah, blah, blah, blah……….if you don’t have an agreed organisational approach to any of these, it’s not the World Cup you should be worried about, it is your overall level of competence.
Talk about over engineering and sullying what should be a chance to have some fun in the office and maybe even, who know, a little legitimate team bonding. The World Cup has been going on for 80 years, long before HR departments were there to spoil it – we don’t need to start now.
So don’t focus on creating a load of ARSE in your business, focus on the fun. And look on the bright side, England will only be playing three games before they are back home and we were wondering what all the fuss was about, just imagine if you were an HR Manager in Brazil……..
What I hate about HR
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So after my list yesterday of the things I love about HR, it only seems natural that I should also flag up the things that I dislike. Surprise, surprise these things come quicker to my mind. Maybe because I’ve been dwelling on them more recently, maybe because that is the way that i (we?) are. In no particular order,
- I hate politics that becomes self-serving and slows an organisation down
- I hate duplicity, liars and cheats
- I hate a lack of leadership and direction combined with an unwillingness to release control
- I hate being called “HR”
- I hate having to fight to make a broader contribution because people see me as “HR”
- I hate it when people think they can have a say in everything
- I hate HR people who think that ok…..is ok
Similar to yesterday really, tell me what you hate about your work….go on…..make me feel better?
What I love about HR
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I guess after my post yesterday, I almost feel like I need to explain myself. I’ve been trying to evaluate what I get a kick from at work – the parts of my working life that really motivate and energize me.
I figure that maybe understanding these I can look to find some way of brining them back into my life.
- I love seeing an organisation grow and develop through its people
- I love helping leaders to solve their own problems
- I love developing interventions that really fit with an organisational culture and seem to click into place with ease
- I love introducing a really talented person into an organisation, knowing that they will fit in and improve the overall quality within
- I love influencing a situation through rational thinking and good reasoning
- I love improving an organisational or team dynamic
- I love seeing people within my team grow and develop
Simple really. Anything else that I should add to the list? What do you love about your work that might give me inspiration?
Resigned to my destiny
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So I guess the question you’re asking is – did I? If this makes no sense to you, then you should know that I had to make a decision on Friday. To resign or not to resign.
At this point I should make an apology. I know some of my family sometimes read this. I don’t want you to panic. And I’m sorry if I haven’t talked some of this through with you……some things are just hard to talk about. Forgive me?
Let’s take a step back. Do you know sometimes when you have to drive a long way….maybe on a route that you know. And all of a sudden you kind of come to and wonder how the hell you got where you were? You know you’ve been driving, you are still in the car, but you don’t remember the turns, the junctions, the miles that you have covered….
I struggle to even remember why I came to work in HR anymore. Someone recommended it. I trained. It just happened. I was married, I needed a job. I applied, I applied, I applied again. And eventually I got a gig at a Hospital where nobody else wanted to work. Turns out I was pretty good at what I did. Smarter than the average bear….And 14 years later I’m there. Made it. Didn’t I?
And on Friday I found myself there sat in my office, the door closed, with a resignation letter in one hand. It wasn’t a bad day. I mean….it was a bad day, but that wasn’t the reason why. I was exhausted, I had nothing, nothing more to give. Sure we’re used to being beaten up in this line of work. I’ve had the best part of 15 years going head to head, toe to toe every working day. It wasn’t the result of a day, it was more than that.
The truth is that I fell out of love with “HR” (as we know it) some years ago. If you’d asked me, I would have told you how great my company was, how great life was and I how I was going to take the world by storm. But if you could have read my mind, you would have seen a gas meter slowly draining towards empty.
And on Friday, I was driving on fumes.
It wasn’t some kind of spoof or ego trip. I’m indebted to some lovely people who sent me some very kind messages. They know who they are. I came home and I talked to my wife. It wasn’t an easy conversation…..by any means. It didn’t quite go as well as it might have done. It was emotional and bloody painful. I learned that saying you are unhappy is hard. And hearing it is maybe harder.
And then, in the early hours of Saturday morning I remembered this…. a post that I wrote in January.
So no. I didn’t resign. But something did break….something is broken. It felt like I’d been given a life sentence. But I’ve realised, maybe I can make it a short stretch. I’m not there, but maybe, maybe I can keep on driving…..keep on autopilot for the next 10 years. If I know the exit is just up ahead…..surely I can keep going?
2020…..you can’t come around soon enough.
I guess sometimes you just a need a storm to clear the air.


