Hell’s Demons – The Sniper
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Next week in the UK is half term, well at least it is for some kids including my own. I’m taking the week off with them to do……well as little as we can physically manage. So before I go, I thought I might try something a little different this week…if that is ok with you?
We all know the characters that hang around offices and workplaces, they are the same up and down the country, throughout the world. Sure their gender, age and race my differ….but their make up is essentially the same. They are the ones that take our time up, that cause us grief, that wind others up, that generally are a right royal pain in the arse. The ones that we all know exist, but try to forget.
They are……Hell’s Demons…..first up The Sniper.
The Sniper has a grudge. A grudge so strong that it pervades their every thought and feeling, but they don’t know it. Because whatever happened, it happened so long ago that they have forgotten. Whether passed over for promotion, missed out on a bonus or given the wrong project. Whatever it was they probably couldn’t even tell you themselves. But it has filled them with venom and bile which the years have compacted and hardened.
The dangerous thing about The Sniper, however, is that on the surface they look like the good corporate citizen. They don’t rage in meetings, pick fights or arguments. They leave that to others. No, The Sniper is wiser and more deadly than that. They have long learnt to play the game, to hide in the shadows, to disappear in the background, to blend in…..until the moment comes to strike.
And when they strike, The Sniper is subtle. They use the least energy possible to cause the most damage. Why? No-one really knows, maybe for pleasure, maybe for revenge, maybe to share the pain that they feel inside. A word here, an email there. Seemingly innocent, but deadly, “CEO, I have to say I think it is wonderful that you allow the HRD to spend all that time writing his blog. Oh….you didn’t know…..”
The Sniper requires information to survive and this eventually proves their downfall. Only so many people can fall victim to The Sniper before their reputation starts to spread. Before those around them become wary and start to hold their cards closer to their chest. Conversations become superficial, information given on a need to know basis and as this happens The Sniper withdraws back into their lair where they become even more bitter and dangerous as they wait for the next generation of victims to arrive in corporate hell.
Welcome to the four day week
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I received an email from one of our senior managers this week regarding a member of their team who was asking to formalise an arrangement to work at home one day a week. Now here is a test for you, have a guess which day they wanted to work from home.
Of course it was Friday. It always is, isn’t it?
A few years ago I inherited a team of 5 people, three of whom had flexible working arrangements. All three were off on the Friday. I sat down with each of them and asked why they worked four days a week. The answers I received were pretty standard and totally understandable, about spending time with their children. I’m a Dad I get that.
So why, when I asked if any of them were willing to move the day from Friday to another day of the week, did they all refuse? The best explanation I could receive was to have three connected days off together. “Fine” I responded, “have Monday off” strangely they never took me up on my offer.
The current request is based on the length of the commute. Now I don’t know whether this is me being simple, but surely the commute is the same length every day? Or am I missing something? I’m not against flexible working, I’m not against supporting people to have a better work life balance but as the manager said in their email, “soon there will be no-one left in the office on a Friday”.
And to emphasise this point, you would think that surfing the web at work would go up on a Friday, with people winding down for the weekend, right? But if I look at the statistics for this site and generalise, there are always significantly less visits on a Friday than on any other week day.
This confused me to start and then I worked it out….you’ve all gone home and left me, I’m here on my own aren’t I ….is there anybody out there?
It’s not all about us
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As well as my day job (which in itself is a poor description unless you take day to mean 24 hours and not just the “daylight” hours), I also hold a voluntary position with a local school. Whilst it takes a lot of my time but is probably one of the most rewarding things that I do and certainly the one with the clearest defined outcomes and associated sense of achievement.
Recently the local authority held a conference which I attended along with the Head teacher and 160 other employees and volunteers. That is 160 people responsible for providing education all taking a day out of their already manic schedules to listen to their lords and masters. To say that I was underwhelmed is an understatement, but I kept my counsel after all it wasn’t about me and I come from a different world.
At the end of the day, I turned to the Head Teacher and asked, “Did today help you?” she hesitated and then said, “no….no it didn’t…..but they are always like that”.
The fact that there was no benefit and the fact that this was normal acted as a salutary reminder that “we” the head office people, the bureaucrats, the pen pushers, the bean counters, we are there to make life easy for the front line people. We are there to take away the hassle, to support, to resolve, to assist. We are not there to create work and drive our own agenda, we are not there to self-serve but to serve.
It’s easy at times to get lost in our own worlds, to lose touch with what is going on, what is important for our organisations, what they are trying to achieve. We don’t spend enough time with the front line people finding out what their pressures are, what we can do to help, what we are doing to cause them issues. Instead we create a purpose of our own and blame them for not being “compliant”. If it isn’t a legal or governance issue, then why the hell should they comply?
Whether it is public or private sector makes not a jot of difference. Your organisation is there to provide education, healthcare, tins of beans, financial services or whatever…….it is not there to provide admin and red tape.
Don’t count your eggs
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A reminder that when you are in a hole, the best thing is to stop digging. Overheard on the tube this morning in relation to this.
Man 1: Have you seen this?
Man 2: What?
Man 1: There’s a story here about a woman who got six double eggs in one go
Man 2: Happens to me all the time
Man 1: No…..SIX double eggs
Man 2: Yeah. We get it a lot
Man 1: In the SAME box
Man 2: All the time. We use those organic ones
Man 1: But…..six….double ones……in the same box?
Man 2: Had that loads of times. Nothing new there. Don’t know why it’s in the paper.
Man 1: Says here that the odds of this happening are over a trillion to one……….
Man 2 : ……………………………………………we get the organic ones…………
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Or alternatively, you don’t have to be a victim. What am I talking about? God only knows. Because I have mulled this one around in my head over the weekend and it really doesn’t want to come out straight. So I’ll give it a go and we can see where we get to……..are your ready?
You don’t like your job. You chose it. There are good bits and bad bits about every job. You don’t like the bad bits then ask yourself do the good bits outweigh the bad bits? Does the money justify the shit? Do the perks justify the grind?
You don’t like your manager? Fine, you have choices. You can put up with it, you can move department, move company. You can front it, talk to your manager and explain.
You have never liked your manager, you think all managers are incompetent? Have you thought that this might be your problem and not theirs? Is it likely that everyone you have worked for is incompetent or perhaps are you just never satisfied? Here is a challenge for you, next time there is a promotion opportunity, put yourself forward. You go and sit in the big seat for a while. What’s that? You don’t want to do the shit they have to deal with? Interesting………..
Why the hell am I talking about this now? Well (and this is where things get a little sticky in terms of narrative) it has a lot to do with the Iraq Inquiry in London. I am no apologist for the war in any sense, but I spent a lot of time listening to the radio on Friday, as I drove to and from the pay negotiations, and quite frankly I am fed up with the bollocks being spouted.
To the mothers of dead servicemen, I am sorry for your loss, I cannot understand your grief, but I empathise. However, your sons and daughters were paid to fight. That was their job. If it were down to me, we wouldn’t have war, but we do. And unfortunately one of the consequences of war is death. This may seem harsh, but did you think of the people who your son or daughter killed? Did you think about their mothers?
To those who blame the war on Tony Blair. Did you vote? Did you protest? Did you engage? Or did you sit and home and expect the war to be over and done with in a couple of weeks because it was only Iraqis and they aren’t very well-developed are they? And hey if we get a bit of oil out of it then what the hell…..now where did I put the paper? And now conveniently lets turn and blame one person. The big boy did it and ran away…………
And finally to all those who say, “politicians are all the same”. We live in a democratic society. Any one of us can engage in politics, anyone of us can join a party, debate, change a party, vote. Any one of us can stand for parliament. You get the politics and politicians you deserve.
Shut up the whingeing, stop the navel gazing, stop the hand wringing. Take a little responsibility in your life. Take ownership of your life whether it be at home or work or in society . Stop blaming other people and take the first step to being free and take it today. Because until you do, you will never, never, be at peace.
Charity begins in hell
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Those of you who have hung here for a while might remember my 5 loads of HR bollocks? It was a week where I confess I was more potty mouthed than usual. I mean normally I’m ok….ish aren’t I? But that week I was bad. I admit it. I’m a big man, there is no harm in bearing yourself here…..in the non literal sense, of course.
Anyway, I promised that the following week I would hold back on the swearing and if….IF I swore, then I would donate £10 for each swear word to charity. You’ll be pleased to know that I reduced my swearing that week to 13 occurrences. Just under 3 a post. Not bad eh? I was doing even better until my conversation with the CEO…..in more ways than one……but what can you do!
So being a democratic kind of guy, I thought I would open up the voting, on which charity should benefit, to you guys. Below you will see voting buttons and links to the various charities, just check them out, click and let me know what you think? I’m off for a couple of days now back into pay negotiations (how many ways can I say “no”) so take your time let people know and the more votes that are received, the more money I promise to give to the chosen charity (I have a multiplier thing worked out which I promise to adhere to). Now, how good is that?
Take care, read, consider, click, leave me a comment…..and I’ll let you know the final amount and the benefactor on Monday 1st February.
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I await your verdict with bated breath…………………….
Never Again
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Today is Holocaust Memorial Day. On this day, 65 years ago Soviet troops liberated Auschwitz-Birkenau.
In total over 11 million people were victims of the Holocaust, six million of those were Jews.
To put that in context that is about the size of Cuba and bigger than Portugal or Belgium.
To put that in context, the death toll following the awful disaster in Haiti is estimated to reach 200,000.
Today is our opportunity to remember the victims and survivors of the Holocaust, Nazi persecution and not forgetting those affected by genocides in Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia and Darfur.
Today is our opportunity to remember that being different is something to celebrate and not to hate.
To remember that as human beings we all have something to offer, something to give.
Today is our opportunity to remember that as human beings we are each more alike than we are different.
To say as one, “Never again”.
Squishy balls
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What is it with suppliers and giving you crap that you never want or need? The news is that today we are officially out of recession and I was kind of hoping that an up-side to the recent economic troubles might have been a world-wide cut back on the”corporate gifts” that suppliers give to companies. But no. It appears my hopes and dreams are dashed. Like a floater, some things refuse to be flushed away and hang on in there as a constant reminder of the shit that exists in your life.
The article in question is a stress ball delivered by a recruitment agency. Now I am not normally one to turn down the opportunity of having objects around that can be thrown, but really……. !?! Do they honestly think that because of some cheap brightly coloured squishy sphere they are going to get our business? Has anyone ever signed a deal based on a free pen or pad of paper? Have you selected a provider because of a set of branded “post-it” notes?
No. If you want to bribe me then do it with something I can’t get from the pound shop please? Champagne, the theatre, weekends away, dancing girls. Come on now think imaginatively! The Global Financial Crisis is over…..bring on the bungs!
LEGAL DISCLAIMER
TheHRD would like to point out that at no time has he been the recipient of any payments or gifts in relation to his business operations. They were all made directly to his wife and had no bearing on his decision-making whatsoever.
Mental health – How not to be a punk
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So today’s post was supposed to be something else, but as happens things come along, things change and you need to stay with the moment. No?
I don’t normally read HR blogs at the weekend, because a) it’s the weekend and b) it’s the weekend. I spend my week working in business, I do HR I don’t just talk about it and……I have a life. But for some reason that I now forget I was quickly scanning through the blogosphere when I came across this post at Punk Rock HR.
Now before I go any further, I need to be clear that I have a lot of respect for Laurie. I don’t always agree with her (as you’ll see) but in terms of HR blogging she is without doubt the undisputed queen. I don’t know Laurie so I can’t tell you whether I like her or don’t like her. But I have no reason to believe that she is anything but well-intentioned. I am sure that most of the people who read this site also read hers, although I know that most of the people who read her site don’t read mine!
In the post she wrote on Saturday, she has unintentionally strayed out of her depth. Let’s take this one step at a time.
Throughout the post Laurie uses the word crazy. Now I don’t know for certain, but the intimation is that we are talking about those with mental health problems. Mental health is as broad as physical health in terms of the issues that can arise and the severity of those issues. Lumping anyone with a mental health problem as being “crazy” is naïve, stupid and down right offensive. Just as you wouldn’t describe someone black with the N word or someone gay with the F word. Intentional? I doubt it. Clumsy? You got it.
Next comes the career advice, for those that are “depressed, moody, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or otherwise edgy” the jobs that they are to avoid. The list includes, nurse, teacher, cashier, receptionist and, “probably a million more”. I’ll let moody go because as far as I can tell I don’t think it is a clinically recognized condition! Alcohol and drug addiction are just that, they are an addiction and sure there are sometimes correlations between mental illness and drug and alcohol abuse but they are not the same thing.
But depression? About 1 in 6 people will experience depression during their lifetime. And that doesn’t include just feeling down, we are talking proper depression. Look around you in the office, the street, the store. One in six people. The career advice to those people? Don’t do anyone of a million jobs? Really? Instead, take “an overnight stock clerks job at Walmart. You probably have insomnia anyway.”
And finally we come to the real nugget here, “crazy is constant”. She asserts that “a job doesn’t make you crazy. You are who you are.” Based on what? Where is the evidence for this? Laurie states “A job doesn’t make you crazy. That’s a fact.” Now far be it for me to be picky but researchers at the Institute of Psychiatry don’t agree….but hell……what would they know?
“”Our study shows work stress appears to bring on diagnosable forms of depression and anxiety in previously healthy young workers. We found that high work pressure, high workload, working very quickly to tight inflexible deadlines doubled the risk of depression and anxiety. Clearly we can also deduce work stress is associated with mental health problems of clinical significance that have health-care and financial implications for wider society.”
Why am I taking the time to write this? Why do I even care? To date I haven’t had any mental health problems so it’s not a personal thing. But I have met and worked with people through the years that have and I have probably worked with and met people through the years that have that I never knew about. This isn’t about being politically correct, it’s about not making sweeping assertions based on nothing other than your own misguided views. As an HR community we need to understand and debate the impact of work on health, not just wash our hands and come up with clichéd responses akin to “if you can’t stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.”
If I was to write that Arabs are lazy, that black people are naturally better at sport, that the physically disabled can’t have meaningful relationships or that women were better suited to being at home you would at best tell me I was wrong and at worst………well I shudder to think. And of course you’d be right to do so.
I don’t think Laurie actually meant what she said. I don’t think this was an intentionally prejudicial piece more a naïve and ill informed attempt at saying that there are people out there who don’t take responsibility for their lives. Yep, and some have mental illness and some don’t. And you know what? Some people who have had or continue to have mental illness hold down some damned responsible and stressful jobs. You just don’t know it.
PunkRockHR is viewed by a hell of a lot of people and if you are going to make statements like these dressed up as “facts” then you need to expect to be called to task. When you hear lies and mistruths and prejudice, you need to stand up and be counted. That, for me, is truly being punk rock.
My Hell is Other People 